Anyone who has seen the opening scene of 27 Dresses knows how much of a burden being part of a wedding party can be. Yet for many, the comic exaggeration of Jane paying her cab driver $300 to attend two weddings in one night has started to bear an eerie resemblance to reality.
As wedding season kicks into gear, a new Harris Poll survey among 2,073 U.S. adults analyzed the growing financial burdens and time commitments of being in a wedding party.
Here are its key findings, which were shared exclusively with Fast Company:
Positive emotions
For many, being asked to be in a wedding party is the ultimate seal of friendship. An overwhelming majority of respondents (94%) said that they’d had a positive experience the most recent time they were in a wedding party, reporting that they felt honored (67%), excited (54%), or grateful (34%). A third (33%) even said their relationship with the bride or groom improved.
Heavy expectations
Despite these positive emotions, nearly two thirds of respondents (65%) felt that the expectations put on wedding party members are becoming out of hand, with 75% noting that weddings these days were more about parties rather than marriage.
Seventy-eight percent of respondents said that they have helped with at least some tasks as a member of a wedding party, including:
- 33%: Planning or hosting a bachelor/bachelorette party
- 31%: Decorating, setting up, and/or cleaning up the wedding space
- 21%: Assisting another wedding party member with tasks like picking up a tux or fixing their hair.
- 25%: Giving a speech.
Increased financial burden
Respondents reported that the financial expectations for being in a wedding were a particular challenge.
While 61% of respondents believed that being in a wedding party is worth any amount of money spent, the majority of respondents (87%) also paradoxically felt that wedding expenses are "ridiculous" these days.
Many of these expenses are optional costs that wedding party members feel obligated to pay for, such as a wedding gift, a bridal shower gift, or bachelor/bachelorette party expenses for the couple.
Others are costs that the couple traditionally took on, such as accommodation for the wedding day or bridesmaid dresses. Sixty-six percent of responding bridesmaids and groomsmen reported feeling shocked by how expensive it is to be part of a wedding party.
The amount spent seems to have only increased over time, with those who have participated in a wedding in the past five years reporting spending $2,795 on average per wedding, compared with $2,576 on average for those who participated 5 to 10 years ago, and $1,157 on average for those who participated more than 10 years ago.
No one wants to ruin a couple’s big day with talk of wedding expenses. Yet these findings suggest that financial burdens may create tensions that, unless assuaged, can sever relations between the happy couple and their honored guests.