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I come from a long line of worriers—both my mother and grandmother lost countless hours of sleep over things they couldn’t control, concerned about what could go wrong. As a child I worried about being liked, as a young adult I worried about my career and money, and as a midlife person and parent, I now worry about basically everything.
I’ve been called a pessimist but prefer to view myself as a realist. After all, there is a lot wrong in the world at large and a lot that could go wrong in life. I’ve always subconsciously felt that if you aren’t concerned, you aren’t paying attention. And in general, as a journalist, cynicism or at least skepticism is a bit of a job requirement.
But at the same time, I’ve always been a little jealous of optimists. Who wouldn’t be? They are just so . . . happy. It turns out being an optimist is better for you, too:
According to Dr. Sue Varma a clinical assistant professor of Psychiatry at New York University and author of Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being:
“Numerous studies involving over 200,000 individuals have found that optimism is linked to many positive outcomes. People who embrace optimism tend to enjoy improved immune function, better heart health, and even more positive health outcomes. They also experience fewer physical symptoms and less pain in general.”
In addition to being healthier, she also points out that optimists are wealthier, live longer, and are more successful in life, work, and relationships.
While it may be a chicken and egg situation (who wouldn’t be optimistic if they were healthy, rich, and successful in work and relationships?), there are ways for even pessimists to change their mindset.
Reframing to a more positive mindset
Fast Company writer Stephanie Vozza did a two-week negativity fast earlier this year. One method she tried was the ABC theory, which stands for “an activating event, your belief about what it means, and the consequences of how you react to it.” For example, when somebody cuts you off in traffic, you can believe that they are a jerk or you can believe that they could be rushing because they have an emergency.
Another tactic Vozza used during her negativity fast was the “three blessings” exercise by the father of positive psychology Martin Seligman. The idea is simple and close to the gratitude journals many of us have rolled our eyes about for years. Each day, write down three things that went well for you. The idea is that most people complain a lot and often don’t recognize they’re doing it, and the antidote to complaining is gratitude.
Other steps to train your brain toward optimism
Contributor Shawn Casemore changed his mindset from pessimism to optimism with a few shifts. Here’s what worked for him:
- Flip concerns about risks to a positive question. “What’s the worst that can happen?” becomes, “What are the best possible outcomes?”
- Share your optimistic view with others. “When we repeat things out loud, we override the little green negative person who is on our shoulder whispering pessimistic views in our ear,” he says.
- Surround yourself with optimistic people and news. He also suggests challenging negative comments and viewpoints when you encounter them.
Casemore admits that being optimistic is challenging. But, he says, “When you consider the benefits of being optimistic, it makes it worth the effort.”