We all love the summertime. The long days. The warm evenings. The wind in the trees. The opportunity to visit faraway places. We love the summer until everything we love about it is driven from our minds by the blazing hot sun and oppressive humidity.
Thus, we do what we do best: Overlook the sweetness of the fruit to curse the bitterness of the pits.
It’s human nature, isn’t it? You may have heard the story of the college professor who showed his class a sheet of white paper with a single black dot. He instructed his students to write a paragraph describing what they saw.
Some described the nature of the dot or its position on the page. Some mused philosophically, pondering the relentless presence of darkness intruding upon the light. Some waxed poetic, lamenting the inevitability of life’s imperfections.
After perusing their responses, the professor said: “Every one of you chose to focus on the single black dot, which represents less than one percent of the page. None of you contemplated the whiteness of the paper, which remains pristine aside from a tiny spot.”
What is it that compels us to focus on the dark side? Observation suggests it’s a choice we’ve learned to make by habit, the way we fixate on a hangnail or a crooked picture. And if so, then it’s a habit we can unlearn with a mindset shift—a small measure of applied mindfulness and self-discipline.
Make the mindset shift when it rains, so you can be grateful for the water that keeps the earth alive despite the dampness. When it snows, be grateful for sledding and days off from school or work rather than resent the cold. And when the summer sun beats down, be grateful for air-conditioning while admiring the earlier generations who survived without it for thousands of years.
Then, after you’ve acclimated to the artificially produced cold, dry air inside your home, make the mindset shift when you step out onto your porch to revel in the first moments of light and warmth. As you do, reflect on this week’s addition to the Ethical Lexicon:
Apricate (ap·ri·cate /ap-rə-kate) verb
To bask in the sun
The word apricate derives from the Latin aperio, meaning “to uncover, lay bare, or reveal.” Of particular interest, however, are the Spanish derivations abrigo and abrigado, which mean precisely the opposite: “covered, sheltered, or protected.”
On the one hand, the light of the sun reveals and exposes. It drives away the darkness of night, literally, and also the twilight of confusion, allegorically. On the other hand, the sun affords protection and shelter from the cold by warming us against the bitterness of literal and figurative winter.
How should we relate to the sun (or anything else)? It’s often up to us. With a mindset shift, we can bask in its light and warmth rather than obsess over its less pleasant aspects.
In my book Proverbial Beauty, I recount my first encounter with the now-famous psychology experiment conducted by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons at Harvard University. You may have seen their video, in which several people pass basketballs back and forth. Viewers are instructed to count how many times the white-shirted players pass the ball.
The video ends, and a caption appears on the screen. It reads: The correct answer is 15 passes. But did you see the gorilla?
I was one of the 50% who failed to see the man in the gorilla suit walk between the players, face the camera, thump his chest, and then wander out of view. The astonishing lesson is that we see what we’re looking for and don’t see what we’re not looking for.
It works the same way with attitude. A positive mindset shift can literally change our perception of reality.
What that does not mean is being Pollyanna. Ignoring problems by pretending that everything is wonderful is a formula for disaster. On the other hand, focusing on problems without seeing the bigger picture encourages us to catastrophize, which leads to self-destructive, self-fulling prophecy.
This is all too evident in politics: Liberals tend to focus on a better world that could be, while conservatives focus on a better world that once was. Too often, both end up negating all that is good in the world as it is, which accelerates the advance of social disintegration and cultural chaos.
In business, it’s exactly the same. Lamentations of gloom and doom create a toxic haze of hopelessness, helplessness, and foreboding. Conversely, when you celebrate wins with an eye toward constant betterment you create a culture that is both energized and enthusiastic.
Striking a balance between appreciation for what is good and aspiration for what could be better does not involve mind games or doublethink. It simply requires recognizing what is working to contemplate building on what we already have.
This is why leaders must foster an atmosphere of gratitude and transparency. Here are three simple strategies for just that:
- Devise creative and continuous ways to show employees and team members appreciation for their efforts and contributions.
- Put in place gentle but continuous reminders celebrating genuinely positive elements in your culture.
- Solicit input for pending decisions, then explain why and how those decisions have been made.
King Solomon teaches: As water reflects one face to another, so too does the heart of one person to another. The more we focus on seeing the good, the more we project positivity to those around us. And the more we project what is good in our world to others, the more they will reflect that good back to us.